The woman sitting opposite looked at me in disgust and said, "Is that poop in your hand?!"
Thứ Năm, 2 tháng 11, 2017
A pregnant woman hobbles into the hospital with one hand on her back.
A nurse asks her what's wrong, and the pregnant woman screams, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Didn't!"
The nurse shakes her head and says, "I'm sorry…I don't understand."
The pregnant woman's face contorts in pain as she shouts, "Can't! Won't! Don't!"
The nurse, bewildered, turns to a doctor.
"Admit her," the doctor said. "She's having contractions."
Guy Mercilessly Reveals The Secrets Behind His Friend's Magic Tricks
Guy Mercilessly Reveals The Secrets Behind His Friend's Magic Tricks
While there's something delightful about watching a magic trick and being completely bewildered, it's also really enjoyable to watch someone ruin the secrets behind the tricks in real time.
November 1, 2017 at 10:17PM
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A child psychologist had twin boys—one was an optimist; the other, a pessimist. Just to see what would happen, on Christmas Day he loaded the pessimist’s room with toys and games. In the optimist’s room, he dumped a pile of horse droppings.
That night, the father found the pessimist surrounded by his gifts, crying.
“What’s wrong?” the father asked.
“I have a ton of game manuals to read … I need batteries … and my toys will all eventually get broken!” sobbed the pessimist.
Passing the optimist’s room, the father found him dancing for joy around the pile of droppings. “Why are you so happy?” he asked.
The optimist shouted, “There’s got to be a pony in here somewhere!”
String Fight
My ex used to hit me with stringed instruments. If only I had known about her history of violins.
Thứ Tư, 1 tháng 11, 2017
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