I explained it wasn't my turn to watch him this time, and they really should have used bigger nails.
Thứ Năm, 9 tháng 11, 2017
Heisenberg, Schroedinger and Ohm are in a car.
They get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving, and the cop asks, 'Do you know how fast you were going?'
'No, but I know exactly where I am,' Heisenberg replies.
The cop says, 'you were doing 55 in a 35.' Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts, 'Great! Now, I'm lost.'
The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop the trunk. He checks it out and says, 'Do you know you have a dead cat back here?'
'We do now, asshole!' Shouts Schroedinger.
The cop moves to arrest them. Ohm resists.
Thứ Tư, 8 tháng 11, 2017
The Horse and the Chick
The horse and the chick were best friends. One day when they were walking around the farm together, the horse fell into a patch of quicksand. He couldn't get out no matter how much he struggled. The chick suddenly had an idea:
"I know! The farmer just bought a new Porsche SUV. I'll use that to pull you out."
So the chick ran off, got the SUV, tied a rope to the horse and pulled him out with ease.
A week later the horse and the chick were walking around the farm again when the chick fell into the quicksand.
"Hurry, go get the SUV!" the chick said to the horse.
"No need", said the horse as he straddled the quicksand. "Just grab hold of my dick and I'll pull you up!"
The chick grabbed hold of the dick and the horse pulled her right out.
Moral of the story: If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a Porsche to pick up chicks.
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