I called the Child Abuse Hotline

A kid answered, called me a fat cunt, and told me to fuck off.

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I applied to be a sperm donor and was asked by the nurse if I'd like to masturbate in the cup.

I said 'I'm good but I'm not ready to compete in a tournament yet'

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A man calls the sherriff’s office

'Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?'

'Yes What can I do for you?'

'I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil Smith....He's hidin' marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs , but he's hidin' it there.'

'Thank you very much for the call, sir.'

The next day, the Sheriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana.

They sneer at Virgil and leave.

Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil's house.

'Hey, Virgil! This here's Floyd... did the Sheriff come?'

'Yeah!'

'Did they chop your firewood?'

'Yep!'

'Happy Birthday, buddy!'

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EA is a great company.

That’s it, that’s the joke.

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What’s the difference between EA and North Korea?

North Korea didn’t fuck up as many launches as EA

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Scientists found out that crabs hear through their legs.

A scientist yelled at a crab and it ran away. Then he cut of its legs and yelled at it again. And suddenly the crab didn't run away anymore.

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Have you heard about the PR disaster at EA over Battlefront 2?

60,000 credits

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