That's it. That's the whole fucking joke.
Thứ Sáu, 15 tháng 12, 2017
A boy paid a girl $10 to climb a flagpole...
She agrees and climbs the flagpole. When she gets home she tells her mother what happened.
Her mother said "honey, he just wanted to see your underwear."
The next day the same boy was standing by the flagpole and said "I will give you $20 to climb the flagpole."
Again she agrees and climbs. She goes home and tells her mother "mom the boy paid me to climb the flagpole again, but I outsmarted him this time. I didn't wear any underwear."
A leopard is walking through the jungle when he sees a lost dachshund in the distance...
He stealthily begins to stalk up on him, intent on making a meal of him. However, the dachshund catches a glimpse of him out of the corner of his eye. Knowing that there's no way he can win a footrace against a leopard, he decides to employ other tactics; he sits down by a nearby pile of bones. Once the leopard is in earshot, the dachshund sighs contentedly and says to himself, "My, that was one tasty leopard." And not being of the brightest variety, the leopard immediately high-tails it out of the area.
A monkey had been watching all this go down, and, being the cheeky rascal of the jungle, decides to spill the beans to the leopard. Swinging through the trees, he eventually catches up to the leopard, and tells him that there's no way that little dog could have eaten an entire leopard. The leopard sees he's made a fool of himself, vows revenge, and tells the monkey to hop on his back to come watch.
A few minutes later, the dachshund sees them approaching. As they get closer, he taps his foot in apparent irritation and mutters to himself,
"Where's that daggum monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to fetch me another leopard!"
Thứ Năm, 14 tháng 12, 2017
A blonde, brunette, and red head are waiting in front of the pearly gates when God comes out to greet them
"Usually I wouldn't let any of you girls in, but I'm having a good day. I'll give you all a deal. If you can climb my 1000 stair staircase and listen to a joke at each step without laughing I'll let you in." They all agree.
The brunette loses at the 100th step. The red head loses at the 500th step. The blonde makes it to the 999th step and begins to laugh hysterically . God asks her "You were so close, why did you laugh?"
She replies "I just got the first one."
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