"Man I can't believe I blew 50 bucks in there!"
Thứ Năm, 21 tháng 12, 2017
Did Climate Change Kill a Polar Bear?
Did Climate Change Kill a Polar Bear?
Probably not this time. Eva Holland looks at how a disturbing wildlife image went viral — generating anguish, anger, and confusion about the undeniably warming Arctic.
December 20, 2017 at 11:00PM
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One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell.
One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell.
As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil...
Satan: "Why so glum?"
Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"
Satan: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?"
Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."
Satan: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, Tab, and Fresca. We drink 'til we throw up, and then we drink some more! And you don't have to worry about getting a hangover, because you're dead anyway."
Guy: "Gee that sounds great!"
Satan: "You a smoker?"
Guy: "You better believe it!"
Satan: "All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world, and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer - no biggie, you're already dead, remember?"
Guy: "Wow...that's awesome!"
Satan: "I bet you like to gamble."
Guy: "Why, yes, as a matter of fact I do."
Satan: "Good, 'cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps,blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, it doesn't matter, you're dead anyhow."
Guy: "Cool!"
Satan: "What about Drugs?"
Guy: "Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean...?"
Satan: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great bigbowl of crack or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine.You can do all the drugs you want. You're dead so who cares."
Guy: "Wow! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!"
Satan: "You gay?"
Guy: "No..."
Satan: "Ooooh, Fridays are gonna be tough..."
Here's an immature Christmas joke my older brother told me when we were kids...
It's Christmas eve and Santa is delivering presents. In one house, a young woman is waiting for him when he climbs down the chimney. She says to him "Santa, will you stay?" And he says "Ho ho ho, Santa's gotta go, I got presents to deliver you know". "Well, if I take off my gown will you stay?" and she drops her gown, standing there in her bra and underwear. "ho ho ho, Santa's gotta go, I got presents to deliver you knoooow" he responds. "If I take off my bra, will you stay?" and she takes off her bra. "Ho ho ho, santa's gotta go, I got presents to deliver you knoooow". "If I take off my panties will you stay?" and she takes off her panties, standing there naked. Then Santa says "Hey hey hey, Santa's gotta stay, can't get up the chimney with a stiffy in his way!".
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