FunnyStory about animals and all around the world
Funny Video about animals and all around the world! :)
Funny picture about animals and all around the world :)
Play game and comfortable :)
Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.
She asks, "Why is this parrot so cheap?"
The petstore clerk explains, "This parrot lived in a whorehouse until three months ago. He has a filthy mouth."
The lady takes pity on the parrot and buys him. She takes him home and the parrot exclaims, "Holy fuck, a new whorehouse!"
Her two daughters walk in and the parrot exclaims, "Holy fuck, two new whores!"
Her husband walks in and the parrot exclaims, "Holy fuck, Bob, I haven't seen you in three months!"
It’s the height of the Vietnam War, and deep in the jungles U.S. Army Privates Chip and Dan have just been promoted to Sergeants.
Now Chip hasn’t always been the brightest bulb, and he’s been known to need some time to process big changes.
As Chip and Dan are doing their rounds one afternoon, Dan sees a cantina up the street. He leans over to his friend and says, “Hey Chip, lets swing by that bar and take a load off.”
Now it takes Chip a moment to think it over when he says, “Dan, we can’t go into that there bar. We’re Privates, and only Sergeants and above can hangout off base!”
Dan laughs at his dull friend and retorts, “Chip, bud, we aren’t Privates, we’re Sergeants now!” And they saunter on in.
The duo head in and take two stools and Dan wastes no time ordering two cold beers over. Now Chip starts getting nervous and he leans over to Dan and whispers, “Dan I don’t know about this... Privates aren’t supposed to drink! Only Sergeants and above are allowed to consume alcohol!”
Dan chuckles, shaking his head at his simple friends worries; “Chip ol’ pal, your forgetting; Privates can’t drink, but we’re Sergeants now! Take a load off!” And upon this realization, Chip relaxes a little and the two enjoy a few more beers together.
The night rolls on and the two get pretty tipsy when later in the evening Dan draws the attention of a young prostitute. She is very interested in Dan, but she leans over and whispers to him, “Baby I think your very cute, I’d love to show you a good time, I’ve just got Gonorrhea so I’ll let you decide if you want me tonight.”
Now Dan isn’t too fluent in Vietnamese, so he leans over to Chip and asks, “Chip, can you do me a favor. I don’t know what ‘Gonorrhea’ means; Can you run back to base and see what you can find out? If it’s a good thing, just give me a thumbs up and I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”
Chip agrees, runs back to base, and about an hour later returns to the door of the bar and gives Dan a thumbs up and an all clear.
A week goes by and Dan is in the medical wing on base groaning and moaning about his unfortunate ailment when Chip comes by to visit him.
“Damn it Chip! You said Gonorrhea was a good thing!,” shouted Dan.
“No,” said Chip smiling, “You see, I looked it up, and Gonorrhea effects only the privates, but you don’t need to worry because we’re Sergeants now.”
A priest says to his friend, the rabbi, that he has developed a plan of eating for free in really good restaurants.
"I simply go in at well past 9 pm, eat several courses slowly, and linger over coffee, and dessert, until they are cleaning up. I keep sitting there until eventually a waiter comes up and asks me to pay. Then I say, 'I've already paid my original waiter who has left for the night.' And, because I am a man of the cloth, the waiter takes my word for it, and I just simply walk out the front door as calm as can be."
The rabbi, clearly impressed says, "Let's try it together this evening."
The priest agrees and books them into an expensive, 4 star French restaurant.
They both eat like kings and, just as before, they are both sitting quietly after enjoying their very full meal, a waiter comes over and hands the priest and the rabbi a bill and asks them to pay.
The priest calmly says: "I've already paid our original waiter." (who apparently left for the evening).
And then the rabbi adds: "And we're still waiting for the change!"