she said something about 'waiting till she was born'.
Thứ Sáu, 22 tháng 12, 2017
2+2+2=7
Teacher: If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Seven, Sir.
Teacher: No, listen carefully... If I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Seven, Sir.
Teacher: Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you 2 apples, and another 2 apples and another 2, how many would you have?
Johnny: Six.
Teacher: Good. Now if I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?
Johnny: Seven, sir.
A very angry Teacher: Where in the hell do you get seven from?!?!?
Johnny: I have pet cat already.
A new CEO takes over at a struggling company and decides to get rid of all the slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. He can't believe this guy would just stand around on the job. The new CEO walks up to the guy leaning against the wall and asks, "What are you doing here?" "I'm just waiting to get paid," responds the man. Furious, the CEO asks "How much money do you make a week?" A little surprised, the young fellow replies, "I make about $300 a week. Why?" The CEO quickly gets out his checkbook, hands the guy a check made out to cash for $1,200 and says, "Here's four weeks' pay, now get out and don't come back." The man puts the check in his pocket and promptly walks out. Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looks around the room and asks, "Does anyone want to tell me what just happened here?" From across the room comes a voice, "Yeah, you just tipped the pizza delivery guy $1,200."
Long Island Iced Tea Soars 500% After Changing Its Name to Long Blockchain
Long Island Iced Tea Soars 500% After Changing Its Name to Long Blockchain
Long Island Iced Corp. shares rose six-fold after rebranding itself Long Blockchain Corp.
December 21, 2017 at 10:37PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2CQlveq
A man found an attractive girl in a bus, he tried to get her number...
She was disgusted, and left the bus. After a few minutes, the bus driver came in the bus. “I saw that. Look, she’s a very pretty girl, and I’ll tell you this: she’s very religious. She goes to church every Sunday. If you go there and dress up as God, she’ll probably agree to have sex with you.
So the guy went, and dressed up as God, and asked her if he can have sex with her. She sighed, then said “okay fine, but only if it’s anal, I love anal.”
So they did it for an hour. After that, the guy took off his mask, and said, “Sorry I just really liked you. That was the best hour of my life.”
And the girl took of her mask. “I knew it would work!” Said the bus driver.
A lady sees a beautiful parrot at a petstore for $1
She asks, "Why is this parrot so cheap?"
The petstore clerk explains, "This parrot lived in a whorehouse until three months ago. He has a filthy mouth."
The lady takes pity on the parrot and buys him. She takes him home and the parrot exclaims, "Holy fuck, a new whorehouse!"
Her two daughters walk in and the parrot exclaims, "Holy fuck, two new whores!"
Her husband walks in and the parrot exclaims, "Holy fuck, Bob, I haven't seen you in three months!"
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