Two blondes fell down a hole.

One said, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"

The other replied, "I don't know, I can't see."

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What is Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?

Haaaand eyeeeeeeeeeee

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What's the difference between a little kid and a lesbian?

A little kid shouldn't run with scissors and a lesbian shouldn't scissor with the runs

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I was breastfed until 3

But enough about my day

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Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100...

The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.

The next day he drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died."

Chuck replied, "Well, then just give me my money back."

The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."

Chuck said, "OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey."

The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him?"

Chuck said, "I'm going to raffle him off."

The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"

Chuck said, "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."

A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"

Chuck said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898.00."

The farmer said, "Didn't anyone complain?"

Chuck said, "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."

Chuck now works for Wall Street.

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Today i asked the hot girl at my gym what her new year resolutions were.

She said «Fuck you». So im pretty exited for 2018

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A Tech Pioneer’s Final, Unexpected Act

A Tech Pioneer’s Final, Unexpected Act
Upon receiving a diagnosis of brain cancer, Eric Sun set out to achieve some lifelong musical goals.

December 27, 2017 at 09:43PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2l6Fv6e

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