Two cannibals blowing each other...
Thứ Sáu, 29 tháng 12, 2017
A man walks into a pub
The barman asks "Why the long face?"
The man replies "I just found out my wife is sleeping with another man. So I have decided I'm going to drink myself to death."
The barman looks shocked and says "I'm sorry I can't help you commit suicide at all let alone in my pub!"
The man asks "Well what would you do in my situation?"
The barman leans in and says "If I found out a guy was sleeping with my wife I wouldn't sit around feeling sorry for myself, I'd kill the guy."
The man jumps up from his stool and shouts "That's a great idea! Thanks!" and runs...
A man is sunbathing on a nude beach
To prevent a sunburn, he covers his most important organ with a hat.
A woman passes by and notices the hat.
She says, "Sir, a real gentleman always lifts his hat in front of a lady."
The man replies, "Ma'am if you were a real lady, the hat would've lifted itself."...
Bob came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife and fell into a deep slumber...
He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, "You died in your sleep, Bob."
Bob was stunned. "I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!"
St. Peter said, "I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken."
Bob was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home.
The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.
A rooster strolled past. "So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?"
"Not bad." replied Bob the...
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