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Thứ Sáu, 5 tháng 1, 2018

Is Something Neurologically Wrong With Donald Trump?


Is Something Neurologically Wrong With Donald Trump?
It is best not to diagnose the president from afar, which is why the federal government needs a system to evaluate him up close.

January 4, 2018 at 08:31PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2qnQs8w

My girlfriend is absolutely beautiful. Body like a Greek statue...

Completely pale, no arms.

Joe wanted to buy a Harley motorcycle.

He doesn't have much luck, until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it. 

The bike looks better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It's shiny and in mint condition.

He buys it and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.

'Well, it's quite simple,' says the seller, 'whenever the bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome.It protects it from the rain, and he  hands Joe a jar of Vaseline. 

That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents.  Naturally, they take the bike there.

Just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to  tell you something about my family.

'When we eat dinner, we don't talk.

In fact, the FIRST person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.'

'No problem,' he says.. And in they go.

Joe is shocked.Right in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes.

In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks dirty dishes.

They sit down to dinner, and sure enough, no one says a word.

As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation.

He leans over and kisses Sandra.

No one says a word.

He reaches over and fondles her breasts. Nobody says a word.

So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table  and screws her, right there in front of her parents.

His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.

He looks at her mom. She's got a great body too.

Joe grabs mom, bends her over the table, pulls down her panties, and screws her every which way but loose  right there on the dinner table.

She has a big orgasm, & Joe sits down.

His girlfriend is furious, her dad is boiling, & Mom is beaming from ear to ear. But still ... . Total silence.

All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.

Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.

Suddenly the father shouts. I'll do the fuckin’ dishes!!

It is so cold outside

That I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets

I heard a rumour about the Canadian Prime Minister

Not sure if it’s Trudeau.

Thứ Năm, 4 tháng 1, 2018

In a hotel a engineer, a physicist and a mathematician...

... are sleeping when a fire breaks out.

The engineer wakes up, notices the fire, grabs the next fire extinguisher and starts spraying.... After what seems hours of heroic fighting the fire is gone and he goes to sleep again.

But the fire breaks out again. The physicist wakes up, notices the fire, grabs the fire extinguisher .... stares at the fire for some minutes, does some calculations in his head - air flow, humidity, thermodynamic whatever - and then - with one blow from the extinguisher at the right point the fire is out and he goes to sleep again.

But the fire breaks out again. The mathematician wakes up, notices the fire, sees the extinguisher - aaaah, the problem is solvable ... and goes to sleep again.

George Bush goes to a primary school

George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk, he offers question time.

One little boy puts up his hand and George asked, What is your name?

Bob

And what is your question, Bob?

I have 3 questions.

First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?

Second, why are you president when al gore got more votes?

Third, what happened to Osama bin laden?

Just then, the bell rings for recess.

George bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

When they resume George says, Ok where were we?

Oh, that's right. Question time. Who has a question?

A different little boy raises his hand.

George points him out and asked him what is your name?

Steve

And what is your question Steve?

I have 5 questions.

First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of UN?

Second, why are you president when Al Gore got more votes?

Third, what happened to Osama bin laden?

Fourth, why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?

Fifth, where is Bob?