If anyone wants to come on down.
Thứ Năm, 25 tháng 1, 2018
A man comes home one day and says, "Guess what honey? Pack your bags, I won the lottery!"
The wife squeals with delight and says, "That's great! Should I pack for the mountains or the beach?" He says, "I don't care, just get out!"
An old Ukrainian is cleaning his hunting rifle one day when his grandson runs in
"Grandfather, the radio says that the Russians have gone into space!"
"All of them?" he asks, putting down his rifle.
"No, only one."
He starts cleaning the rifle again.
A highly successful Manager was going home in his car when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.
Disturbed by the sight, he ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate.
He asked one man "Why are you eating grass?" "We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass." "Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you" the manager said.
"But sir, I have a wife and five children with me. They are over there, under that tree". "Bring them along," the manager replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also."
The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and seven children with me!" "Bring them all, as well," the manager answered. They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as it was.
One of the poor fellows turned to the Manager and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The manager replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost 1 meter high!"
A guy is drinking in a bar...
After his last drink, he tries to stand up and falls. He starts crawling out of the bar. He crawls out of the bar, he crawls in the street, trying to hold on to something, but each time he falls and he just keeps crawling home. He crawls up his stairs, he crawls to his bedroom, and finally he crawls into his bed next to his wife. The morning after, he wakes up to find his wife looking pissed off.
"Did you get wasted last night ? Again ?"
" No no no sweetie, what makes you say that ?"
" The bartender called, you forgot your f***ing weelchair there."
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