The only "B" word you should ever call a girl is beautiful.

Bitches love being called beautiful.

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What do cannibals call pregnant women?

Kinder surprise

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What should you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?

Run, there's a live grenade in her mouth.

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A guy walks into a Muslim bookstore wearing a Make America Great Again hat...

As he was wandering around taking a look, the clerk asked if he could help the man find anything.   “Do you have a copy of Donald Trump’s book on his U.S. immigration policy regarding Muslims and illegal aliens?”   The clerk said, “Kiss my ass… get out… and stay out!”   The man said, “Yes, that’s the one.  Do you have it in paperback?”

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[NSFW] A man dies and arrives in Hell naked.....

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When I said to my teacher,I had 26 pets, didn't believe me. So I showed her a picture of my fish tank.

Teacher freaked out when she saw how many dogs I could fit in there.

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What's the best part about being 100 years old?

No peer pressure.

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