Police: Turn around.
Me: Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you’re never coming round...
Police: TURN AROUND!!
Me: BRIGHT EYES, Every now and then I fall apart. And you I need you now tonight, and I need you more than ev--AHHHHHH!...
Thứ Tư, 9 tháng 5, 2018
Letter to God
There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.
One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read:
Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension.
Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for...
Dad peels banana...
When i was six or so my dad started this routine every time he ate a banana...
Dad: peels the first strip of the banana peel... "One skin" Peels the second strip... "Two skin" "Three skin" "Five skin"
Me: "What happened to the Four skin"
Dad: "Jewish banana"
I was twelve and I finally figured it out.......
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