Since then, my mugging attempts have been far more successful.
Thứ Hai, 4 tháng 6, 2018
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first says, "I'll have a beer." The second says, "I'll have half a beer." The third says, "I'll have a quarter of a beer." And so on.
The bartender hands them two glasses of beer and says, "You guys need to know your limits."
A blonde is on the bus when this guy gets on with both of his front trouser pockets full of golf balls and sits down next to her. The confused blonde keeps looking at him and his bulging pockets...
He notices her looking and eventually, after many such glances from her, he says, “It’s golf balls.”
Nevertheless, the blonde continues to look at him for a very long time, appearing to think deeply about what he had said.
After several minutes, she can’t contain her curiosity any more and asks, “Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?”
Upon arriving at the Pearly Gates of Heaven, a man saw a massive wall of clocks.
He asked St Peter “what is with all the clocks?”
St Peter responded, “These are the clocks of lies. Each person has a clock. Every time they lied on Earth the clock moves one tick.”
The man noticed a clock that wasn't moving. "Whose clock is that?" He asked. St Peter said that was Mother Teresa. She never told a lie.
“Whose is that?” Abe Lincoln's. It moved two ticks. Showing he lied twice.
Understanding the system, he asked, “Where's Donald Trump’s clock?”
St. Peter responded “It’s in Jesus’ office. He’s using it as a ceiling fan.”
Chủ Nhật, 3 tháng 6, 2018
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