Italians don't like ANY witnesses.
Thứ Bảy, 23 tháng 6, 2018
Naked except for the boots
Bert, 80, always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. So, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.
Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, “Notice anything different about me?”
Margaret, 75, looked him over.
“Nope.”
Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots.
Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, “Notice anything different NOW?”
Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan, “Bert, what’s different? It’s hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it’ll be hanging down again tomorrow.”
Furious, Bert yelled, “AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT’S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?”
“Nope. Not a clue,” she replied.
“IT’S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT’S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!”
Without missing a beat, Margaret replied, “Shoulda bought a hat, Bert! Shoulda bought a hat.”
Thứ Sáu, 22 tháng 6, 2018
There was a boy who worked in the produce section of the market.
A man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man replied that he did not need a whole head, but only a half head.
The shop assisant said he would go ask his manager about the matter.
He said to his manager, "There's some asshole out there who wants to buy only a half a head of lettuce." As he was finishing saying this, he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he quickly added, "and this gentleman wants to buy the other half." The manager okayed the deal and the man went on his way.
Later the manager called on the boy and said, "You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet and we like that around here. Where are you from son?"
The boy replied, "Minnesota sir."
"Oh really? Why did you leave Minnesota" asked the manager.
The boy replied, "They're all just whores and hockey players up there."
"Really?," replied the manager, "My wife is from Minnesota!!"
The boy replied, "No kidding! What team did she play for?"
Đăng ký:
Bài đăng (Atom)