One. We are efficient and not funny.
Thứ Sáu, 13 tháng 7, 2018
The Most Important Video Game on the Planet
The Most Important Video Game on the Planet
Since it launched in July of last year, "Fortnite" has risen to become the most important video game currently in existence — obsessed over by rappers and athletes, hotly debated in high-school cafeterias, and played by 125 million people.
July 12, 2018 at 10:48PM
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A wife was preparing a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband when he suddenly burst into the kitchen. “Careful!” he said.
“Careful! Put in some more butter! Oh, my gosh! You’re cooking too many at once! “Too many! Turn them! Turn them now! Now! We need more butter! Oh, my gosh! They’re going to stick! “Slow things down a bit! Careful! Careful! I said be careful! You never listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! “Right, turn them! Hurry up! Turn them now! Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind? Don’t forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! USE THE SALT! USE THE SALT!” The wife stared at him in disbelief. “What the heck is wrong with you? Do you think I don’t know how to fry a couple of eggs? The husband replied calmly, “I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I’m driving.”
An old man tells his doctor that his wife never has an orgasm while they are having sex.
The doctor suggests that perhaps she is overheating. So when the man gets home he asks his young and good-looking gardener to assist by waving a towel to cool off his wife while they are having sex. The gardener is reluctant but agrees. While the couple is having sex, the gardener frantically waves the towel to cool off the woman, but she does not have an orgasm. The old man suggests that he and the gardener switch places. Again the gardener is reluctant, but agrees, and makes wild love to the woman. The woman reaches a screaming climax like none she has ever had in her entire life. The old man turns to the gardener and says, "And THAT, young man, is how you wave a towel!"
Little Sally came home from school and with a smile on her face and told her mother, "Frank Brown showed me his willy today!"
Before the mother could respond, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut."
Relaxing with a little smile, Sally's mother asked, "Really small was it?"
Sally replied, "No...salty."
A Jewish businessman decided to send his son to Israel...
A Jewish businessman decided to send his son to Israel to absorb some of the culture of the homeland. When the son returned, the father asked him to tell him about his trip. The son said, "Pop, I had a great time in Israel. Oh, and by the way, I converted to Christianity." "Oh, my," said the father. What have I done?" He decided to go ask his old friend Jacob what to do. Jake said, "Funny you should ask. I too sent my son to Israel, and he also came back a Christian. Perhaps we should go see the rabbi and ask him what we should do." So they went to see the rabbi. The rabbi said, "Funny you should ask. I too sent my son to Israel. He also came back a Christian. What is happening to our young people? The three of them prayed and explained what had happened to their sons and asked God what to do. Suddenly a voice came loud and clear from Heaven. The Voice said, "Funny you should ask. I, too, sent my Son to Israel...
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