Funny Story

FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

Thứ Sáu, 3 tháng 8, 2018

"Daddy, how do stars die?"

"Drugs, normally."...

The American Government is just like a car...

If you want it to go forward you put it in (D) and if you want it to go backwards you put it in (R)...

A man walks past a sign reading, "Tits - £10 each, Swallows for £30, £50 for a Shag", so the man walks in and asks, "how much for anal?"

The woman slaps him and shouts, "SIR! This is an aviary!!"...

I tried playing my Demi Lovato record today

But the needle kept getting stuck...

Donald Trump is standing in the gallows...

The executioner is fitting the rope around his neck. Below the platform are all the news networks. They are all clamoring for a final statement before the man is hung for his crimes. Trump simply smiles and shakes his head. Finally, one question is heard above the roar of the crowd? "Aren't you worried about dying?" A voice asks. Trump shrugs his shoulders as he smiles again and shakes his head for the last time. He replies: "Fake noose."...

A Pirate walks into a bar

(The funniest joke my friend told me, hope it hasn't been posted here before) A Pirate enters a bar and goes to the bartender to ask for a drink. The bartender eyes the pirate and asks him how he ended up looking like that. "Ah you must mean the peg-leg, me lad. 'Tis a fine tale where I fought the dreaded kraken in the Bermuda. It started dragging me under so I had to cut off me own leg with me cutlass." The bartender shook his head, "No actually, I was wondering about-" "Oh ho, so me eyepatch has caught your interest, has it? That was from a...

A girl in a restaurant asked me "Are you single?"

I happily replied "Yes" She took away the extra chair in front of me....