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Thứ Ba, 7 tháng 8, 2018

There was this little 9 year old blind kid, and one day he said to his mom, "Mom, All I've ever wanted was to see."

His mom said, "Well son it's your lucky day, today is the last day of March, and if you pray your hardest,your prayers will be answered."

So the little boy goes to bed 2 hours early and starts praying himself to sleep.

He wakes up half way through the night and realises that the night isn't over, so he prays another hour before he falls asleep again.

He finally wakes up the next morning and yells, "Mom, Mom, get in here fast!"

His mom comes running in and says, "What is it son?"

The boy says, "Mom I did just what you said I prayed and prayed harder than anyone else ever has, but I woke up this morning and I'm still blind!"

And his mom says....... "I know, - April Fools!!"

What did the drummer call his twin daughters?

Anna One, Anna Two

A Crazy Little League Throw, A Wild Little League Leap And An Insane Little League Tag


A Crazy Little League Throw, A Wild Little League Leap And An Insane Little League Tag
These kids are more than alright.

August 6, 2018 at 10:39PM
via Digg https://ift.tt/2OgVGtB

Cooking with French ingredients always makes me depressed.

Yesterday I almost lost the huile d'olive.

How many grammar Nazis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Too

Gandalf decided to go to the Shire, and to his surprise found Frodo and Sam making meth.

Gandalf decided to go to the Shire, and to his surprise found Frodo and Sam making meth.

"Why would you ever do such a thing!" He exclaimed.

"Well you see Mr Gandalf, after our adventure we haven't been able to feel the euphoria of being a hero until we tried this wonderful magic crystal" said Frodo.

"That's it!", said Gandalf. "I'm opening up a rehabilitation center. When I come back in a year, this had better be cleaned up!"

A year passes and Gandalf returns. Alas, the hobbits are strewn about with their spoons and needles.

Gandalf scoffs, "Breaking Bad hobbits is going to be harder than I thought."

This is my first joke I have ever written down. I would like to apologise.

Can't escape Dad jokes when you're a Dad...

Son (in crowded store): "Hey Dad, do you know where Mom went?"

Me: (knowing Mom can hear around the corner) "Just ask some people where the most beautiful woman in the store is..."

Mom: (snort-laughs from around the corner)

Me: "...and see if she has seen your Mom."

Mom: (silence)

Mom: "Can't lie...that was a good one."