Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
Thứ Bảy, 18 tháng 8, 2018
A man goes on vacation to Israel with his wife and his stepmother.
While in Israel, his stepmother died at the hotel.
The people there told him:
"Sir, if you want to bury her back in the United States, it's going to cost you $5,000 to bring back her corpse. But since she died at the hotel, we can do the funeral here in Israel for free.
The man immediately refused and said he would pay the $5,000 fee to do the funeral back home.
When in the USA, his wife came up to him and said:
"I really love what you just did for my mom. That proves me that you actually loved my mother and you respected her"
Man: Babe, are you crazy?! Those Israelis are the same people who buried Jesus and three days later he came back to life. I'm not about to take that risk with your mother.
Thứ Sáu, 17 tháng 8, 2018
Son : "Mom, Dad, I'm gay."
Mom: Stares at Dad
Dad: Clenches fist
Mom: “Don’t!”
Dad: Sweats Profusely
Mom: “…”
Dad: “HI GAY, I’M DAD”
The government reveals their new logo today....
The government reveals their new logo today, on a black background sit a magnificent image of a condom.
I guess it makes sense, seeings as how a condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives you a sense of security while being screwed.
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