Doctor, how can I live 100 years?

Man: Doctor, how can I live to be 100 years old? Doctor: Well, do you smoke cigarettes or do any type of drugs? Man: Nope Doctor: Do you eat a lot of junk food? Man: Nope Doctor: Do you sleep around without using protection? Man: Nope Doctor: Then why the hell do you want to live to be 100 years old?...

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I've realized that suicide would solve all my problems....

...if I could just get the right people to try it....

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Just a Dad Joke

Wife:Hey Honey, I’m Pregnant Husband:Hey Pregnant, I’m Dad Wife:No you’re not...

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We'll We'll We'll

If it isn't autocorrect....

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Science builds planes and skyscrapers

but faith brings them together....

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Thank you, student loans, for helping me get through college

I don't think I could ever repay you...

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Why did Thor lose his lightning powers?

Because his father grounded him....

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