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Thứ Tư, 26 tháng 9, 2018

A mother was in the kitchen listening to her five year old playing with his new train set in the lounge.

She heard the train stop and her son saying "All of You bastards who want off, get off now 'cos we're in a hurry! And all of you bastards who are getting on, get on now 'cos we're going down the tracks"

The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for travelling with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added... "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the fat controller in the kitchen."

I dig, You dig, We dig, He dig, She dig, They dig.

It's not a beautiful poem, but its very deep.

She texted me: “your adorable” I responded saying “no. YOU’RE adorable”

Now she thinks I like her even though I was just correcting her grammar.

Did you hear about McDonald's trying to get into the high end steakhouse market?

It was a Big Mcsteak

"Dad, was I adopted as a child?"

The father sighs, places his hand on the boy's shoulder and replies wistfully:

"We tried, but nobody would take you"

This Ultimate Frisbee Play Is Unbelievable


This Ultimate Frisbee Play Is Unbelievable
​We don't normally bring you ultimate frisbee highlights, so you know when we post one that it's going to be something special.

September 26, 2018 at 02:03AM
via Digg https://ift.tt/2NEHsHq

My friend’s girlfriend is pregnant, and he is thinking of a name for the past few weeks.

Finally he decided on Carlos and ran away to Mexico.