...She's definitely a keeper!
EDIT: This is the first joke I make up myself as a non-native speaker. I'm proud.
Thứ Năm, 4 tháng 10, 2018
A guy, a pig, and a dog are the only survivors of a terrible shipwreck, and they find themselves stranded on a desert island.
After being there for awhile, they get into a ritual of going to the beach every night to watch the sun go down.
One particular evening, the sky was red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle -- in short, a perfect night for romance! Well, that pig started looking better and better, and pretty soon the guy rolled towards the pig and put his arm around it. The dog was not very happy with this, and growled fiercely at the guy until he moved his arm away.
The three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there were no more efforts at cuddling. A few weeks passed by, and lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was a beautiful young woman. She was in a pretty bad way when they rescued her, and they slowly nursed her back to good health.When she was completely well, they introduced her to their nightly beach ritual.
Then came another gloriously beautiful evening -- red sunset; delicate cirrus clouds; gentle, warm breeze -- again, perfect for romance. The guy started getting "those ideas" again, so he leaned over to the girl, and said,
"Um... would you mind taking the dog for a walk?"
My daughter wanted a bouncy castle for her birthday.
The guy said the rental was $50, and the set-up fee was $1000 dollars.
I said, “that’s outrageous!”
He just shrugged and said, “that’s inflation for you.”
The Game-Changing Technique Behind an Amazing New Archaeological Discovery
The Game-Changing Technique Behind an Amazing New Archaeological Discovery
There's an easy way to find an ancient human in a bag of bones.
October 4, 2018 at 12:31AM
via Digg https://ift.tt/2OAdLqs
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.
In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."
The brunette arrives at the man’s ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less.
After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.
She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It’s just 99 cents a word."
Well, with only $1 left after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she’ll only be able to send her sister one word.
After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, “I want you to send her the word, 'comfortable.'”
The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pick-up truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable'?" The brunette explains, "My sister’s blonde. She’ll read it slow."
Halloween teens Party
A young boy walks into a Halloween teen party with no shirt on, only wearing a pair of loose jeans.
The host says, “Well, , this is a costume party.”
The young boy responds, “I’m in costume. I’m a premature ejaculation.”
The host asks, “how’s that?”
“I just came in my pants.”
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