I looked at her and said DECEPTICONS. She laughed, i laughed, the toaster laughed, i shot the toaster, it was a good time.
Thứ Năm, 11 tháng 10, 2018
Universal Basic Income Is Silicon Valley’s Latest Scam
Universal Basic Income Is Silicon Valley’s Latest Scam
To them, UBI is really just a way for them to keep doing business as usual.
October 10, 2018 at 11:07PM
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Millennials Kill Again. The Latest Victim? American Cheese
Millennials Kill Again. The Latest Victim? American Cheese
One by one, America's food outlets are abandoning the century-old American staple. In many cases, they're replacing it with fancier cheeses.
October 10, 2018 at 09:04PM
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The local news station was interviewing an 80-year old woman because she had just gotten married for the 4th time in her life.
The interviewer was asking her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.
The lady tells him that her new husband is a funeral director.
"Interesting," the newsman thinks....
He then asks her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little bit about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.
She then pauses for a few moments, needing some time to reflect on all of those years. After a short time, a smile comes to her face as she answers proudly, explaining to the newsman that she had remembered each of her husbands.
The first, she says, was a banker, whom she married in her 20s. In her 40s, she married a circus ringmaster. In her 60s, she married a preacher, and now, in her 80s, she's marrying a funeral director.
The newsman is astonished at this development, having never met anybody who had been in so many relationships with so many different and diverse careers. He asks her why, if there was any reason, did she choose to marry those specific people.
She responds, "I married one for the money, two for the show. Three to get ready, and four to go!"
Edit: fixed a typo
Mom and dad take their 5 year-old son to the zoo...
They stop by the elephants and the son notices the bull elephant, who's clearly excited. The son whispers to mom, "Mom, what's that thing hanging from the elephant?"
The mom, not really paying attention replies, "That's the elephant's trunk, sweetie."
The son replies, "No, mom. I know what the trunk is. What's THAT thing hanging under the elephant?" He points directly to the bull elephant's now engorged member.
The mother looks, blushes, and quickly says, "Oh! Um...that's nothing, sweetie."
Frustrated, the son tugs on dad's shirt and asks, "Dad, what's that thing hanging underneath the elephant? I know it's not the trunk."
The dad looks and calmly says, "That's the elephant's penis, son."
The son asks, "When I asked mom, she said it was nothing."
The dad smiles and says, "Son, I've SPOILED that woman."
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