I had to fight my wife, two doctors, and a nurse to finally do it.
Thứ Sáu, 12 tháng 10, 2018
The Great Rikers Island Art Heist
The Great Rikers Island Art Heist
For forty years, an original Salvador Dalí painting went unnoticed inside New York City's massive jail complex. Then a gang of thieves decided it might be worth something.
October 11, 2018 at 08:16PM
via Digg https://ift.tt/2CE8dWw
The Cool Clam Club
Deep beneath the ocean there is an exclusive club known for only having the coolest of clams in their midst. This was called the Cool Clam Club.
Now, the Cool Clam Club was known across the seven seas as one of the most prestigious clubs known to seakind due to the fact that their initiation was quite possibly the most dangerous stunt you could pull; however, if you passed, you got a really sharp looking leather jacket with a clam patch on the back. Everyone wanted to be in the Cool Clam Club.
Three clams decided they would try their shell at joining the Cool Clam Club. Their names were Justin, Travis, and Griffin. They all knew the initiation was difficult, but they've been watching from the sidelines for far too long. What is this tough initiation you may ask?
Every day at around sunfall the tide would rise. The rising tide would cause the old wooden dock to rise up for a few moments, then come crashing down back into the shore. To join the Cool Clam Club, a clam must take a running start, slide under one of the large wooden legs of the dock, and come out the other side unscathed.
"Simple," thought all three clams. They had seen this initiation many times before, they knew the techniques and the wet and wild stunts.
The Justin clam went first. He observed the rising and falling of the post. He took a deep swig of water. He towards his destiny.
WOOSH!
The Cool Clam Club received the Justin clam with open arms. He passed initiation and the leather jacket was his! Surely, he must be the coolest clam in town!
Travis clam, upon seeing his fellow clam claim the jacket, was happy. But he knew that he was next. The dock rose, it fell, it rose...
WOOSH!
The Travis clam had made it! He hugged the Justin clam, cheers erupted around him, and the jacket was his.
Griffin looked at the two other clams on the other side of that large wooden post. He was getting nervous. His tiny stomach began to hurt out of nervousness. Alas! If Justin and Travis had made it through, surely he could make it as well!
The Griffin clam backed up to get a head start. He looked at the dock, nervous still. The Cool Clam Club looked on with interest at this. They all clenched the lapels of their cool leather jackets, for they all wanted the littlest clam to join their ranks.
The Griffin clam looked at the dock. The large wooden pillar rose. It fell. It rose...
SPLAT!
The post fell upon the Griffin clam and the littlest clam was no more.
Now, my friends, you may be wondering what killed the Griffin clam. The other two clams had made it through without a scratch, so then, why did the Griffin clam fail?
Pier pressure.
Edit: formatting
A police officer pulls over an elderly couple
He walks up to the driver's side window and asks the husband for his license and registration.
The wife, hard of hearing, asks "what?! What did he say to you?"
The husband replies "he wants my license!"
The officer asks him if he knew how fast he was going.
The wife yells "what?! What did he say to you?"
The husband yells back "he says I was speeding!"
As the officer looks at the license he notices they're from Ohio "you know, I used to live in Ohio. Worst place ever. I was seeing this woman there, and it was just miserable. She would never shut up, couldn't cook worth shit, constantly belittled me, and the sex was just awful."
The old lady once again yells "what?! What did he say to you?"
The husband yells back "he said you two used to date!"
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