They're fucking assholes
Thứ Năm, 18 tháng 10, 2018
Ralph came home drunk one night
slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.
He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, ’You died in your sleep, Ralph. . ’
Ralph was stunned. ’I’m dead? No, I can’t be! I’ve got too much to live for. Send me back!’
St. Peter said, ’I’m sorry, but there’s only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken. ’
Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. . The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.
A rooster strolled past. ’So, you’re the new hen, huh? How’s your first day here?’
’Not bad, replied Ralph the hen, but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I’m gonna explode!’
’You’re ovulating, ’ explained the rooster. ’Don’t tell me you’ve never laid an egg before? ’
’Never, ’ said Ralph.
’Well, just relax and let it happen, ’ says the rooster. ’It’s no big deal. ’
Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!
Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg — his joy was overwhelming.
As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife yell. . . . .
"Ralph! Wake up you dirty bastard. You've shit the bed"
My grandpa (age 92) told me this joke.
"I'm getting so old that I can't remember what I had for breakfast this morning... And I have oatmeal every morning."
Thứ Tư, 17 tháng 10, 2018
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