I slid my finger back out, and within seconds, she was going down on me.
I thought to myself, "I really need a new fucking boat."...
Chủ Nhật, 23 tháng 12, 2018
A guy walks into a dentist office.
He says "Doc, you have to help me! I think I am a moth!"
The Dentist says "I can't help you, I'm a dentist, you need a psychiatrist. Why did you even come in here?"
The man replies "The light was on."...
So I work with a Chinese guy called Kim.
Once when we're having drinks, I asked him, "Aren't you tired of Westerners saying that all Chinese people look the same? "
He replied, "Kim's at the bar getting drinks, I'm his wife. "...
A Newlywed Couple Waited for Marriage to Have Sex...
A couple wanted to wait to have sex until the night of their wedding. As the big day got closer the bride tells the groom she has a confession to make.
"I am as flat as a board. I'm sorry, I have been using the best padded bras on the market to make people believe I actually have breasts. I hope this isn't a deal-breaker."
"Oh thank God!" the groom exclaims. "I have a secret too...my penis is the size of a newborn."
The couple is so happy they've aired their most embarrassing information and relieved the other is okay with it.
The wedding day...
A French man, a British man and a Spanish man are caught stealing in a foreign country.
They are prosecuted and the judge sentences them all to 100 lashes each. However he wants to look lenient in the eyes of their respective countries so he reduces the lashes to twenty and allows them to have two requests each before being lashed.
The Spanish is first to be lashed and requests a bottle of tequila and a pillow strapped to his back. They let him drink the tequila and strap the pillow to his back and then commence the lashes. After 5 lashes the pillow breaks and they keep lashing him. After the 20 lashes he's bawling and his back is...
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