A redneck.
What do you call a cousin-fucker in Europe?
Your Majesty.
Thứ Sáu, 4 tháng 1, 2019
An Australian guy walks into a bar with a crocodile under his arm.
He asks the bartender if he will give him free drinks if he shows he can put his penis inside the crocs mouth for 15 seconds without it getting bit off. The bartender agrees. The guy opens the crocs mouth and puts his penis inside it; the croc gently closes his mouth and after 15 seconds the Australian hits him over the head with a bottle, causing the croc to open his mouth and let the guy withdraw his penis. The bartender starts serving the free drinks to the Australian and then tells everyone in the bar "If anyone else can do that then I will give them free drinks also". There is a pause and then a blonde woman calls out "ok, I will do it but please don't hit me so hard over the head with the bottle". "
I saw a woman in the supermarket, struggling to control her kids.
She looked really stressed. Then she accidentally knocked over and smashed a bottle of milk.
She dropped to her knees and burst into tears, surrounded by spilled milk. It reminded me of something my dad used to say to my mum, so I walked over to her and said;
"Get a fucking grip, you stupid bitch."
Thứ Năm, 3 tháng 1, 2019
I'm Robin Hood, I take from the rich to give to the poor!
A poor peasant is traveling the woody paths of Barnsdale, when a hooded man walks up to him.
Robin Hood: "HALT!"
"I am Robin Hood, I take from the rich to give to the poor, now give me all your money!"
Peasant: "I have nothing, I've been hungry for years you see"
Robin Hood: "Very well then poor man, take this!"
Robin Hood gives the poor man a sack, filled to the brim with gold coins. He then fades away into the forest.
The peasant stares in disbelief, exclaiming: "I can't believe it, I'm Rich!"
"HALT!"
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