An atheist goes for a walk in the woods.

“What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!” he said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left...

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Three priests gathered together for a drink .

During their get together ,the hoast ask the other two : How do you split your money with the Lord ? "I draw a line on the floor in my church ,then ,i throw the money in the air ,whatever is on my side I get to keep ,whatever falls on his side he keeps it" sais the first priest. The second one replies "well I draw circle and then I' throw the money in the air ,whatever falls inside the circle is mine ,whatever Falls outside the circle is His" . "How do you split your money ?" they both ask the host priest. I' just throw the money in the air...

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How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They're afraid of change- even if it makes the world a brighter place. (Edit: Folks, take a breath. It is a joke.)...

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An elderly woman with a shaky voice walks into a sex shop and asks, "Do y-y-ooou-u s-s-sell vib-b-rat-ors?", the store worker told her "Yes we do, ma'am."

She replied, "H-h-how d-do I t-turn-n it off-ff?"...

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I'm so excited to finally get a dad bod

It's the first time I've ever had a father figure...

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Inside The Strange Yet Profitable World Of Retail Arbitrage

Inside The Strange Yet Profitable World Of Retail Arbitrage Turns out, clearing out a Target or Walmart, then reselling it all on Amazon, can make you enough money to pay off your house. January 17, 2019 at 09:36PM via Digg http://bit.ly/2FyFk...

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The owner of a sex shop, hires a new clerk.

After the owner teached him the basics of running the store, he has to run an errand. 'Could you run the store on your own for a couple of hours, Jeremy?' he asks. 'Sure thing boss!' Jeremy replied, 'don't you worry, I've got this.' So the boss leaves for his errands, leaving young Jeremy in charge of the store. Some time later, a woman walks in. She's in search of a mechanized equivalent of the male boomstick of glory. Jeremy shows her the so-called model 'Hercules'; huge, veiny and with a firm grip. The woman is very intrigued and leaves the...

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