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Thứ Ba, 5 tháng 2, 2019

Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger are sitting in a bar

Sylvester Stallone says, "Guys, we should make a movie with the three of us, but I'm all out of ideas at the moment, I'm kind of bored with the standard action flicks."

Chuck says, "Guys, I'm bored of doing action movies too and I've got some ideas but you may not like them."

Sylvester says, "Let us hear it."

So Chuck continues, "All right, this may sound silly, but I was actually thinking about doing a movie on great classical composers."

That's when Arnold throws himself in the conversation and says, "That sounds like a great idea! Sylvester, you can be Mozart, and Chuck can be Beethoven!"

"And who will you be, Arnold?"

"I'll be Bach."

Anti-Vaxx parents hate it when you call their toddler's outbursts a "temper tantrum."

They prefer the term "mid-life crisis"

A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree

When he got there, he started to swing at a tree when it suddenly shouted, “Wait! I’m a talking tree!”

The lumberjack laughed and said, “And you will dialogue.”

When you’re dressed all in black and some smart ass asks you who died, simply look around the room and say

“I haven’t decided yet."

I was digging a hole in my backyard when I found a box filled with gold.

I was so excited that I ran inside to tell my wife. Then I remembered why I was digging the hole in the first place.

Why are millennials burned out? Capitalism.


Why are millennials burned out? Capitalism.
Author Malcolm Harris on why millennials need a revolution.

February 5, 2019 at 12:11AM
via Digg http://bit.ly/2Bf5Jv9

Father: “Son, you were adopted”

Father: “Son, you were adopted.”
SON : “What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!”
Father: “We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes.”