Funny Story

FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

Thứ Bảy, 16 tháng 3, 2019

Two guys are walking through the woods one day when they stumble across a big deep hole.

The first guy peers into it and says, "Wow! That looks deep." The second guy says, "It sure does. Let's throw a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is. We'll be able to tell the depth by how long it is before we hear the noise of the pebbles landing." So they pick up a few pebbles and throw them in and wait. Nothing. There's no noise. The first guy says, "Jeeez. That is really deep. I know, let's throw one of these great big rocks down there. Those should make a noise." So they pick up a couple football-sized rocks and toss them into the...

My boss hates it when I shorten his name to Dick

Mostly because his name is Steve...

An old Jewish man was finally allowed to leave the Soviet Union, to emigrate to Israel.

When he was searched at the Moscow airport, the customs official found a bust of Lenin. Customs: What is that? Old man: What is that? What is that?! Don't say "What is that?" say "Who is that?" That is Lenin! The genius who thought up this worker's paradise! The official laughed and let the old man through. The old man arrived at Tel Aviv airport, where an Israeli customs official found the bust of Lenin. Customs: What is that? Old man: What is that? What is that?! Don't say "What is that?" say "Who is that?" That is Lenin! The sonofabitch! I...

I refuse to insult someone by saying that they have mental issues

Only retards do that...

One day, Albert Einstein had to speak at an important science conference.

On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:   "I'm sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!" The driver agrees: "You're right. As your driver, I attended all of them, and even though I don't know anything about science, I could give the conference in your place."   "That's a great idea!" says Einstein. "Let's switch places then!"   So they switch clothes and as soon as they arrive, the driver dressed as Einstein goes on stage and starts giving the usual speech, while the real...

I walked into a store and noticed they were selling deer nuts for $1.25

Every other time I've seen them, they were under a buck....

Genie: you have three wishes

me: make math go away Genie: ok, that one's on the house me: yay, so I still get three wishes? Genie: huh?...