Once I forgot to bring my phone when I went out today.
I borrowed my friend's phone to call her.
She answered "What's up baby?"
She is so smart she knew I was the one calling her.
Edit: it's my cake day!
Chủ Nhật, 7 tháng 4, 2019
One day, Billy saw Mom jumping on Dad in bed.
During breakfast the next morning, Billy asks Mom "Why do you jump on Daddy before going to bed every night?". The Mom, looking over at Dad with a embarrased expression, says "Well, your Daddy gets very fat every night eating dinner, so I have to jump on him to get his stomach flat.". The Son says "Oh, well, that won't work.." said the Son. The Mom, now curious, asks why not, and the son say "Well, as soon as you fall asleep, Ms.Dollip (Their neighbor) comes in and blows him back up again."
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was.
When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling.
"Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!" he yelled with surprising forcefulness.
No one answered.
"Alright, I'm gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don't like to have to do what I dun in Texas!"
Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse has been returned to the post. He saddled up and started to ride out of town.
The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say partner, before you go... what happened in Texas?"
The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home."
A Mysterious Infection, Spanning The Globe In A Climate Of Secrecy
A Mysterious Infection, Spanning The Globe In A Climate Of Secrecy
The germ, a fungus called Candida auris, preys on people with weakened immune systems, and it is quietly spreading across the globe.
April 7, 2019 at 01:17AM
via Digg https://nyti.ms/2Uw0h29
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