then 25.8069758011 is the root of all evil.
Thứ Ba, 9 tháng 4, 2019
The Teacher Asked the Class to Name Something that Ends in -Tor and Eats Things.
Gabe raised his hand first. He said, "Predator."
"Clever answer! They sure eat things!" The teacher told him.
Next, Dylan raised his hand. "Oh! I know! Raptor!"
"You are very smart! Raptors eat many different things," the teacher said.
Then, little Timmy answered. "Vibrator!"
The class went dead silent. The teacher told Timmy, "Um Timmy, I don't think vibrators eat things..."
Timmy was confused. "Really? My sister told me it ate through batteries like crazy!"
Thứ Hai, 8 tháng 4, 2019
I saw a stolen BMW today. I decided to call the police.
“Yes officer, I’ve just seen a stolen vehicle out here on the highway, westbound”
“With all due respect, civilian, there are hundreds, thousands of vehicles out there, it is incredibly difficult to spot a stolen vehicle if you don’t have the training for it. Did you see a smashed window or something?”
“Well no, you see, I was just driving along, and I got cutoff by this BMW...”
“Okay yeah, so you are definitely wasting my time here. There is absolutely nothing even remotely suspicious about this, at all. I drive a marked squad car, that’s with the lights and everything, they just don’t care. I get cutoff by asshole beamer drivers every single day. I can’t even be bothered to pull them over, I would never get anything else done.”
“Yeah, I know, I wasn’t all that surprised either at first. I mean, I saw the BMW cruising up pretty fast in my side mirror so I was expecting it, and then the driver flipped on the turn signal, and...”
“On my way!”
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