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Chủ Nhật, 14 tháng 4, 2019

The sperm clinic nurse asked me if I'd like to masturbate in a cup

I said I wasn't ready for competitive wanking

A child asked his father "Dad, do politicians ever tell the truth?"

The father answered, "Only when they call each other liars."

Why do Redditors get excited when a tornado rips down miles of fences?

Because there is a lot of reposting to do.

"Mickey, it says here that you killed Minnie because she was 'really silly'?"

"No", replies Mickey, "I said she was fucking Goofy."

Wow, I just got caught masturbating and it actually led to sex...

You could say things got out of hand

His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist

Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day and confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home absolutely ashen. His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked. "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" "Oh, Bill, you didn't." "Yes, I did." "My God, Bill, what happened?" "I got fired." "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?" "Oh, she got fired, too."

After my wife's pregnancy, I had pulled my doctor aside and asked shyly, "When will we be able to have sex?"

He winked at me and said, "My shift ends at 6, meet-up at the parking lot."