Something inside me is telling me yes
Thứ Năm, 18 tháng 4, 2019
A Brutal Supercut Of Fox News Hosts Bashing Obama For All The Things Trump Does Now
A Brutal Supercut Of Fox News Hosts Bashing Obama For All The Things Trump Does Now
The partisan tilt of Fox News is not exactly news, but this supercut from NowThis really puts into perspective the network's respective treatment of President Obama and President Trump.
April 17, 2019 at 10:25PM
via Digg http://bit.ly/2DkHJYC
A mom wanted her three sons to stop swearing...
...so she decides she needs to start punishing her children.
The next morning, her three sons, Billy, Bobby, and Johnny come to the kitchen for breakfast. The mom asks Billy what he wants for breakfast.
Billy says, "I don't know, just give me ceral or some shit." The mom smacks Billy and he goes flying across the kitchen. She turns to Bobby and asks him what he wants for breakfast.
Bobby shouts, "Damn, mom! What the hell did you hit Billy for? Just give me cereal I guess." The mom hits Bobby even harder and Bobby flies into the next room over.
Finally, she turns to Johnny and asks what he wants for breakfast. Johnny looks at the other two boys and hesitates for a while.
Johnny says, "I don't know, but you can bet your sweet ass that it isn't cereal."
A man is lost in a hot air balloon
He sees a field below and descends to shout: "Hey can you tell me where I am? I'm trying to get to a friend whom I said I would meet in 30 minutes."
The man in the field says: "Yes, you are in a red hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above the ground, in the middle of this field"
"Ah, you must be an engineer", replies the balloonist
"I am indeed, but how did you know?", asks the man.
"Well", says the balloonist, "everything you've said is technically right, but is of no use to anyone"
To this, the man replies: "Any you must work in management"
The balloonist confirms this, but asks how the man knew.
"Well", replies the man, "You don't know where you are, how to get where you're heading, made a promise you can't keep. You expect me to be able to help, but after all this time, we're in the exact same position we were before, but now it's my fault"
Doctor: "Unfortunately sir, you have only 1 week to live."
Man: "Doc, what on Earth are you saying?”, clearly shocked. “What can I do to live at least a little longer?"
Doc: "Well, do you eat greasy and fried food?"
Man: "Yes."
Doc: "You must stop!"
Man: "If it allows me to live longer, I'll do it!"
Doc: "Do you drink sodas and eat fast food?"
Man: "Yes."
Doc: "You must stop!"
Man: "If it allows me to live longer, okay."
Doc: "Do you stay up late?"
Man: "Yes."
Doc: "You must stop!"
Man: "If it allows me to live longer, then I shall."
Doc: "Do you have sex often?"
Man: "Yes."
Doc: "You must stop!"
Man: "If it allows me to live longer, then I’ll do that too."
Doc: "Do you smoke?"
Man: "Yes."
Doc: "You must stop!"
Man: "If it allows me to live longer, I will."
Doc: "Do you drink?"
Man: "Yes..."
Doc: "You must stop!"
Man: "OK doctor, but you didn’t tell me, if I do all the things you told me to do, how much longer will I live?"
Doc: "You will still live for a week… but it will seem like a century.
Detroit isn't That Bad... Trust Me
A guy boards an airplane to Detroit and makes his way to his seat where he notices the guy sitting next to him looks very worried. He asks him if he's afraid of flying.
"No, my company is moving me to Detroit. I've heard terrible things about Detroit; I'm worried about my family."
The guy tells him, "Look, it's not at all like the rumors. I've lived in Detroit my whole life. Find a nice home in a nice suburb, get your kids into a decent school, the community is great... you'll be fine, trust me."
The other guy seems to perk up and says, "Hey, thanks man, you've really calmed my nerves, I feel better. So what do you do in Detroit?"
"I'm a tail-gunner on a Bud Light truck..."
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