Son: "Daddy, I fell in love and want to date this awesome girl."

Father: "That's great, son! Who is she?" Son: "It's Sandra, the neighbor's daughter." Father: "Ohhh, I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something, son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is actually your sister." The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later: Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!" Father: "That's great, son! Who is she?" Son: "It's Angela, the other neighbor's daughter." Father: "Ohhh, I wish you hadn't said that. Angela is also your sister." This went on a few...

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Thank God I don’t have to hunt for food....

I don’t even know where tacos live...

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People get impressed when I tell them my home is designed by a famous Italian.

Until I invite them home and they realize I live in a Fiat....

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Rules - for those on Mobile and New Reddit app.

Guidelines and Information Offensive jokes are fine as long as they are still jokes. We do make exceptions for extremely offensive jokes. Keep the comment section civil and light hearted. Personal attacks will not be tolerated. If you want to be a dick, go to /r/insults Jokes must be in text format, no emoji's or linking allowed. (YouTube, Imgur, etc) As a measure to prevent spam and reposts we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit to 3 every 24 hours. This subreddit is not a platform for blatant self-promotion If you...

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I was really bored, so I decided to memorize six pages of the dictionary.

I learned next to nothing....

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I started to let Jesus take the wheel, but then I remembered...

that motherfucker ain’t afraid to die....

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I just learned the medical name for Viagra.

Mycoxaflopin...

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