I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Thứ Sáu, 26 tháng 4, 2019
Three men at a class about etiquette...
...are asked how they would tell a woman on a first date that they need to use the bathroom.
The first one shrugs. "Easy. I just tell her: Sorry, but I gotta go to the toilet." The teacher shakes his head disapprovingly. "No, no, way too blunt."
The second one goes: "Well, everyone has to go sometimes and it's time for me." "Not too bad", the teacher admits, "but still not quiet good."
The third man thinks for a while and then says: "Excuse me, my dear, I just have to go and shake an old friends hand. You will make his acquaintance later tonight."
I feel sorry for the hypnotist I saw last night.
He hypnotized 7 guys, then dropped the mic on his foot and yelled "FUCK ME!" What happened next will haunt me for the rest of my life.
This Ape Figuring Out How To Use A Smartphone Is Getting Us Real Worried
This Ape Figuring Out How To Use A Smartphone Is Getting Us Real Worried
We had a good run, humanity, but now is the time for another simian species to succumb to the temptations of technology.
April 25, 2019 at 09:00PM
via Digg http://bit.ly/2W3or1b
The vow of silence
A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he's allowed to say two words every seven years.
After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. "Hard bed," he says.
They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words.
He clears his throats and says, "Bad food." They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass.
They bring him in for his two words. "I quit," he says.
"That's not surprising," the elders say. "You've done nothing but complain since you got here."
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