They would eventually find me attractive.
Thứ Năm, 9 tháng 5, 2019
Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father! I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads..."
Three vampire brothers were standing in a moonlit pasture, having an argument about who was strongest...
The youngest of the three says “You know what? You guys are always underestimating me. I’ll show you what I’m capable of.”
He flies off at 100 miles per hour and comes back 10 minutes later, his mouth dripping with blood. “Do you see that mansion on the hill up there?” he asks.
“ I just flew in, killed the family and drank their blood. Not even the servants were spared.” The two elder brothers nod their approval.
“ Not bad!” says the middle brother. “But sit down, young one.” The middlest vampire flies off at 150 miles per hour and comes back 5 minutes later, his whole face dripping in blood.
“You see this? I just went to the village by the river and killed every single occupant to feast on their blood in mere minutes.” The youngest vampire’s eyes are wide in shock.
Finally, the eldest of the vampire brothers yawns and takes a big stretch. “Now let your oldest brother end the night by impressing you beyond belief.” He takes off at a staggering 200 miles per hour, and returns only a minute later, his entire face and the front of his body completely soaked in blood.
“Dear Satan!” exclaims the youngest of the brothers. “What in earth have you done?”
“Do you both see that large oak tree off in the distance?” asks the eldest. The other brothers both nod earnestly.
“Well, I didn’t.”
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