Then why did the plane crash?
Chủ Nhật, 12 tháng 5, 2019
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a beautiful blonde, and a comely brunette
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a beautiful blonde, and a comely brunette are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel. As the compartment is plunged into complete darkness for the Nth time a ringing slap is heard. The train passes back into daylight and the Frenchman is rubbing his sore, red cheek.
The brunette thinks 'I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde and she struck the pervert.'
The blonde thinks 'I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the dowdy brunette for me and slapped the beast.'
The Frenchman thinks 'I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark and she slapped me by mistake.'
The Englishman thinks 'I can't wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French twat again.'
A crow was arrested an put behind bars.
His lawyer, a lawyer bird obviously, visited him. "How bad is it?" The crow asked.
"Pretty bad." The lawyer bird replied. "They had a warrant to go through your phone."
"So what?" The crow said. "I've got nothing to hide."
"They found the texts to your friends." The lawyer bird said.
"So now it's a crime to ask my fellow crows to hang?" The crow exclaimed. "They were all to busy anyway"
"You're lucky they were." The lawyer bird replied "They've got you on attempted murder!"
A tattooed guy, a hot blonde and a pale looking guys have a chat
The tattooed guy brags: "I have the best job, I'm a musician. Each day I have sex at least twice!"
The hot blonde responds: "Well, I'm a prostitute. It's literally my job. I have one customer per hour!"
Finally the pale looking guy joins in: "Still, none of you gets as much sex during your jobs as I do."
After a short, irritated silence the blonde finally dares to ask: "So, what do you do?"
"I'm a mortician."
After 150 days off flooding, Noah released all the animals from his ark and commanded then to go forth and multiply.
After some time, he saw that the flocks and herds were regaining their numbers, but he came across a pair of snakes who had laid no eggs, and were just laying about.
"Why have you not multiplied?" he asked.
To which the snakes responded, "we can't, we're adders."
Noah being a quick thinker went off into the woods to fell some trees, and fastened them together into a platform. He then placed the snakes on the platform and lo and behold the snakes immediately laid a clutch of eggs
Because you see, even adders can multiply on a log table
Eating Someone
Eating Someone
Farmed animals have personalities, smarts, even a sense of agency. Why then do we saddle them with lives of utter despair?
May 12, 2019 at 01:06AM
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