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Thứ Hai, 13 tháng 5, 2019

Went to the doctors for a prostate exam

During the exam he said it's not unusual to become aroused or even ejaculate .......

But I still wish he hadn't

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?

None.

My mother used to tell me this joke time and again when I was a child.

A mosquito got old enough to fly on his own, when he came back his mother was happily waiting for him.

-"How was your first flight, my dear?" The mother asked.

-"Amazing." He answered "Everyone thought I was doing great!"

-"Oh yeah? What makes you think that?"

-"Well, wherever I went people started clapping!"

A little boy told his nursery teacher he found a dead cat.

"How did you know it was dead?" his teacher asked

"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move." the boy said.

"You did what?!" the teacher shrieked.

"You know," the boy explained, "I leaned over and went 'Psst!' in its ear and it didn't move!"

I like my women like i like my computer

Turned on

On my lap

Virus free

A Woman goes to buy a Parrot. The prices are $100, $200, and $15. She asks why the last one is so cheap?

"Because he used to live in a brothel" says the shopkeeper. She pays $15.

When she gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me, a new brothel!" The woman laughs.

When her daughters get home the parrot says: "Fuck me, 2 new prozzies!" The girls laughs too.

When the dad gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me Pete, haven't seen you for weeks!"

The female janitor at my building asked if I would chill and smoke some weed with her...

I said no. I can't deal with high maintenance women