Poor bastard.
Thứ Ba, 14 tháng 5, 2019
A DEA agent stopped by my farm yesterday.
“I need to inspect your farm for illegally grown drugs”, he said.
“By all means officer, just don’t go in that field over there”, I replied.
The DEA officer exploded, saying “Do you know who the fuck I am?! I have the authority of the federal government with me!”, he shouted before pulling a badge out of his back pocket, “Do you see this fucking badge?! This badge means I can do what I want and I’ll go wherever the fuck I want, have I made myself clear?!”
I nodded politely, apologized, and went about my chores. A short while later, I hear loud screams, looked up and saw the DEA agent running for his life being chased by my angry rodeo bull. With each step, the bull was gaining ground and he seemed sure to be gored before he reached safety. The officer looked terrified and continued to run for his life.
I threw down my tools, immediately ran to the edge of the fence and shouted at the top of my lungs,
“Your badge, show him your fucking badge!”
Two Nuns are ordered to paint a room
Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits.
After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the room, strip off their habits, and paint in the nude. In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door.
"Who is it?" calls one of the nuns.
"Blind man," replies a voice from the other side.
The two nuns look at each other and shrug; deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door.
"Nice tits," says the man. "Where do you want these blinds?"
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