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Thứ Tư, 19 tháng 6, 2019

The Blonde joke to end all Blonde jokes

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman Police Officer, who was also a blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blondes driver's licence. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

"What does it look like?" she finally asked. The Police woman said "It's square and has your picture on it"

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the Police woman. "Here it is" she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying "Okay, you're free to go, I didn't realize you were a cop"

My dad was a WWII veteran.

During the Battle of Britain, in just one day, he destroyed 8 German aircrafts killing 32 Nazis.

Literally the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.

My wife found out I was cheating on her, after she found all the letters I was hiding.

She got so mad and said she is never playing Scrabble with me again!

How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat?

She starts fitting into your wife’s clothes.

I hate it when they say, "white people can't dance"...

Like Hello? We had the king of pop himself micheal Jackson.

[nsfw] some parents find their teenager’s browser history

It’s full of s&m porn.

Mom says: well what are we going to do?

Dad says: what do you mean?

Mom says: well.. we can’t spank him.

A wife asks her husband, “Honey, if I died, would you remarry?”

“After a considerable period of grieving, I guess I would. We all need companionship.”

“If I died and you remarried,” the wife asks, “would she live in this house?”

“We’ve spent a lot of money getting this house just the way we want it. I’m not going to get rid of my house. I guess she would.”

“If I died and you remarried, and she lived in this house,” the wife asks, “would she sleep in our bed?”

“Well, the bed is brand new, and it cost us $2,000. It’s going to last along time, so I guess she would.”

“If I died and you remarried, and she lived in this house and slept in our bed, would she use my golf clubs?”

“Oh, no,” the husband replies. “She’s left-handed.”