Funny Story

FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

Thứ Tư, 3 tháng 7, 2019

A wife was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband’s key in the door. “Stay where you are,” she said. “He’s so drunk he won’t even notice you’re in bed with me.”

the husband lurched into bed, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the bed. He turned to his wife: “Hey, there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What’s going on?” “You’re so drunk you miscounted,” said the wife. Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there. The husband climbed out of bed and counted. One, two, three, four. Damn, you’re right....

I was offered sex with a 21 year old girl today

In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a person with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax Spray n’ Wipe, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available with scented lemon or vanilla....

Thứ Ba, 2 tháng 7, 2019

What’s the difference between an irish wedding and an irish funeral?

There‘s one less drunk....

What is the opposite of adulting?

Just kidding....

People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Madrid.

Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision....

I really need to get this shit off my chest,

and let my girlfriend know I’m not into this fetish....

What do you get when you cross a brain tumor with a german sausage?

The wurst headache...