A man walked into a bar

And stayed there my entire childhood

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The Highest-Paid Celebrities In The World, Visualized

The Highest-Paid Celebrities In The World, Visualized
Taylor Swift may be the highest-earning celebrity in 2019, but who are the highest- paid entertainers in sports, movies and comedy?

July 13, 2019 at 12:42AM
via Digg https://ift.tt/2jGpk1Z

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What did the necrophiliac get after his wife died?

Mourning wood.

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What did the burglar say when he detonated a bomb to get into Fort Knox?

Edit: Wow, this blew up. Thanks for the gold!

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What's the difference between my husband and Gollum?

A ring actually means something to Gollum.

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I am so sorry reddit . . .

I AM HERE TO SAY GOODBYE, I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH! MY WIFE SAYS I AM IN THIS SUBREDDIT EVERY 20 SECONDS, AND SHE CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE! WE ARGUED AND SHE TOLD ME TO CHOOSE BETWEEN HER OR THE SUBREDDIT. SO I AM GOING TO BE OFFLINE FOR A COUPLE OF MINUTES WHILE I PACK HER BAGS, AND CALL HER A TAXI. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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The first time I had sex, it was in my parent’s bedroom. My girlfriend giggled nervously and moaned, “This is a bit awkward.”

I grunted, “Just ignore them.”

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