A reptile dysfunction!
Thứ Bảy, 3 tháng 8, 2019
A very drunk man in a bar orders another scotch. The bartender says, "You're too drunk, Joe, go home.
Joe says, "Fine, I'll take my business elsewhere," and walks out.
A few minutes later he walks back in and says, "I'll have a scotch."
The bartender says, "Joe, I told you. You're too drunk. Go home."
Joe says, "Fine, I'll take my business elsewhere," and walks out.
A few minutes later he walks back in and says, "I'll have a scotch."
The bartender says, "Joe, for the last time. You're too drunk. Go home."
Joe says, "Fine, I'll take my business elsewhere," and walks out.
A few minutes later he walks back in, stops at the door, stares at the bartender and says, "God damn it! How many bars do you work at?"
An Englishman and an Irishman walk into a bakery.
The Englishman steals 3 buns and puts them into his pockets and leaves. He says to the Irishman, "That took great skill and guile to steal those buns. The owner didn't even see me."
The Irishman replied, "That's just simple thievery, I'll show you how to do it the honest way and get the same results."
The Irishman then proceeded to call out the owner of the bakery and says, "Sir, I want to show you a magic trick." The owner was intrigued so he came over to see the magic trick.
The Irishman asked him for a bun and then he proceeded to eat it. He asked 2 more times and after eating them again the owner says, "Okay my friend, where's the magic trick?"
The Irishman then said, "Look in the Englishman's pockets."
Thứ Sáu, 2 tháng 8, 2019
At a hotel restaurant, a man sees an attractive woman sitting alone at the next table.
Suddenly, she sneezes, and a glass eye comes flying out of her eye socket. It hurls by the man, and he snatches it from the air and hands it back to her.
“This is so embarrassing,” the woman says, and she pops her eye back in place. “I’m sorry to have disturbed you. Let me buy dinner and make it up to you. May I join you?” He nods.
The woman is a stimulating conversationalist, stunningly pretty, and the man finds they have a lot in common.
He gets her phone number and asks, “You are the most charming woman I’ve ever encountered. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?”
“No” she replies.
“You just happened to catch my eye.”
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