A man moves into a new house with his wife. He’s painting the living room when he hears a little knock on the door.

The man goes to the door and looks around, but doesn’t see anything so he closes the door, but as he’s walking away he hears the same little knock at his door. He opens the door and looks around, and looks down, and staring up at him is a snail. This being a new home and not wanting pests, the man picks up the snail and throws it as fair as he can. He wipes his hands and goes back to painting His wife gets home later with some groceries and he finishes painting. They have a lovely dinner and retire to bedroom to watch a movie and have a glass...

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When I heard that Kevin Hart was injured in a car accident, I was really worried for my kids.

They use the same brand of booster seat! Too soon?...

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Foolproof: How I became a billionnaire in just 15 days. You can do it too.

When my wife and I got married we only got 0.50$ of combined wealth. I was wandering around in the fruit market in desperation, that was when I saw an apple for 50 cents. I was so hungry that I spent our 50 cents in a blink of an eye. On one apple. But then it hit me: What have I done? I spent all our family savings on one stupid apple! Feeling horrible, I went ahead and cleaned up the apple: with the hopes that the seller will buy it back from me. He saw the apple and said: wow, that's such a nice apple. I'd give you a dollar for that. That was...

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I threw my girlfriend a surprise bukakke party.

Everyone came, you should have seen her face....

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[long] Two guys are walking through the woods one day when they stumble across a big deep hole

The first guy peers into it and says, "Wow! That looks deep." The second guy says, "It sure does. Let's throw a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is. We'll be able to tell the depth by how long it is before we hear the noise of the pebbles landing." So they pick up a few pebbles and throw them in and wait. Nothing. There's no noise. The first guy says, "Jeeez. That is really deep. I know, let's throw one of these great big rocks down there. Those should make a noise." So they pick up a couple football-sized rocks and toss them into the...

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My grandpa always said "As one door closes another opens."

He was a great man but a terrible cabinet maker....

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Don't order hay for your horse off Amazon.

After a couple of days they'll ask for your feed back....

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