A woman goes into a drugstore.

"Do you sell XL condoms?" she asks the pharmacist. "Yes, of course, family planning is in aisle 5," he replies. "Thanks," she says, and walks over. About a half hour later the pharmacist is stocking shelves and sees the woman still standing in aisle 5. "Did you find the condoms?" he asks. "Yep," she says. "Well, is there something else I can help you with?" he asks. "Nope. I'm just waiting to see who buys them."...

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How long did 8 lie down for?

Forever....

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I hate how funerals are always at 9 or 10am

I'm not really a mourning person....

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My wife told me, “If anything happens to me, I want you to meet someone new.”

Apparently, “anything” doesn’t include getting stuck in traffic....

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A boy asked his dad for 10$ of bitcoin

"9.57$? Why do you need 11.48$?"...

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My wife left me because I am insecure

No wait, she's back. She just went to get coffee....

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The pastor entered his donkey in a race and....

it won! The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again.   The local paper headline the next day read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT   The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.   Again, the next day the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS   This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey.   Thinking that it may be for the best, the Pastor decided...

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