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Thứ Sáu, 6 tháng 9, 2019

A cheap zoo lost its gorilla and instead of paying for one they hired a guy in a gorilla costume to act like a gorilla.

When the people came to see him he pounded his chest and moved like a gorilla. Right under him was a lions cage.

While he was running around chanting like a gorilla, the bottom of his cage broke and he fell into the loins cage.

He started screaming and yelling "help me, help me" As the lion got closer. The Lion ran to him and said "Shut up! You are going to get us both fired!"

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer...

“Sure” says the bartender, and turns around to grab one.

“Wow, what a great shirt” the man hears, not knowing where it came from.

“That watch is amazing, so classy” he hears again. This time he sees the nuts on the table talking to him.

“Wow I must be really tired, I better to go the bathroom and wash my face” says the man.

As he walks towards the bathroom, he swears he hears the jukebox talking to him, hurling insults. “That watch actually sucks” says the jukebox. “You’re cologne smells disgusting too”

Dumbfounded, the man washes his face and heads back to the bar. “Looks like something’s troubling you” says the bartender.

The man explains what he’s just been through, claiming he must be going crazy.

“Oh no, you’re not crazy” says the Bartender. “The peanuts are complimentary, but the jukebox is out of order”

Why is it called boob sweat

But not humiditties

Every day I'm surrounded by broken condoms.

Running a daycare center is tough.

Why is Spider-Man so good at comebacks?

Because with great power comes great response ability.

I’ve been saying “mucho” to all of my Mexican friends.

It means a lot to them.

Robin: "Batman, the batmobile doesn't work. "

Batman: "Robin, did you check the battery?"
Robin: "Batman, what the fuck is a tery?"