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Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.

Thứ Tư, 16 tháng 10, 2019

A cowboy walks into a bar, and two steps in he realizes it’s a gay bar:

"What the heck." He says to himself. "I really want a drink."

When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the cowboy. "What’s the name of your willy?"

The cowboy says. "Look, I’m not into any of that. All I want is a drink."

"The gay waiter says. "I’m sorry but I can’t serve you until you tell me the name of your willy. Mine for instance is called NIKE, for the slogan, 'Just Do It.' that guy down at the end of the bar calls his SNICKERS, because 'It really Satisfies.'"

The cowboy looks dumbfounded, so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over.

So the cowboy asks the man sitting to his left who is sipping on a beer. "Hey bud, what’s the name of yours?"

The man looks back and says with a smile, "TIMEX."

The thirsty cowboy asks. "Why Timex?"

The fella proudly replies. "‘Cause it takes a licking and keeps on ticking."

A little shaken, the cowboy turns to the two fella’s on his right who just happens to be sharing a fruity Margarita and says.....
"So, what do you guys call yours?"

The first man turns to him and proudly exclaims. "FORD, because Quality is Job One." Then he adds. "Have you driven a Ford lately?"

The guy next to him then says. "I call mine CHEVY Like a Rock!" And gives a wink!

Even more shaken, the Cowboy has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his manhood.

Finally, he turns to the bartender and exclaims, "The name of my willy is SECRET. Now give me a beer."

The bartender begins to pour the cowboy a beer, but with a puzzled look asks. "Why Secret?"

The cowboy says. "Because it’s ‘STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN!"

Husband doing crossword with his wife

Husband: Emphatic no, five letters.

Wife: Never

H: Pistol, 3 letters.

W: Gun

H: Disgust, 3 letters.

W: Ugh

H: Charity, 4 letters.

W: Give

H: Female sheep, 3 letters

W: Ewe

H: Pixar movie, 2 letters

W: Up

Trump shouldn't have said "shithole countries"

The correct term is turd-world countries.

How do you call it when two short people do 69?

ea

Heartbreaking

Dallas Morning News - A 15 year old boy was at the center of a Dallas County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Dallas Cowboys, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

I'll never use that dictionary again...

The definition it gave for "obfuscate" was confusing and misleading.

Thứ Ba, 15 tháng 10, 2019

Someone stole my Microsoft office and they’re gonna pay,

You have my word.