Add Spring Water
Thứ Tư, 18 tháng 12, 2019
Two old jews are sitting in a park and reading newspaper
One of them notices that the other's paper is from a really antisemite organization and basically a pure antisemitic propaganda
"What the hell are you reading? Why don't you read our jewish papers?"
"You see Chaim" the other man says calmly "When I read our newspapers all I see are pogroms, antisemitic hate crimes and it's just depressing and scary, here on the other hand" he says while showing his friend the frontpage " I'm apparently a masterminded banker, have millions in secret accounts and even rule the whole world!"
Never assume what your friends have been up to
Three ducks walk into a bar. Bar man asks the first duck: “What’s your name, and how was your day?” The duck replies: “It’s Huey and it’s been great, I’ve been in and out of puddles all day. Give me a beer, please”.
The bar man asks the second duck the same, “It’s Dewey, and I’ve also been in and out of puddles all day. Give me a beer, please”.
Finally he turns to the third duck: “so you must be Louie?”
“No” she replies, “I'm Puddles. And don’t ask. Just give me a whiskey, neat.”
[nsfw] Girlfriends sister tries to seduce me
I went to my girlfriend’s house expecting to see her. It was my girlfriend’s sister ( very beautiful) who opened the door in a slutty dress. She asked me to enter the house and said no one is coming home for another 5 hours, she then placed her hands on my shoulders and came close to me.
I stopped her and left the house.
I got into my car and immediately someone knocked on the door, I looked around to see my girlfriend.
And her dad, mom and sister were standing outside.
I got out of my car and my girlfriend hugged me tight and said it was a test and you passed. Her parents and sister also hugged me for being a good boyfriend.
Moral of the story: Always keep your condoms in the car
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