So instead, a subreddit....
Thứ Năm, 16 tháng 1, 2020
A Blonde Woman Asks For A $5000 Loan
A blonde woman walks into a bank in NYC before going on vacation and asks for a $5,000 loan.
The banker asks, "Okay, miss, is there anything you would like to use as collateral?"
The woman says, "Yes, of course. I'll use my Rolls Royce."
The banker, stunned, asks, "A $250,000 Rolls Royce? Really?"
The woman is completely positive. She hands over the keys, as the bankers and loan officers laugh at her. They check her credentials, make sure she is the title owner. Everything checks out. They park it in their underground garage for two weeks.
When...
Two scientists walk into a bar.
The first man says “I’ll have H2O please.”
The bartender replies “Sure thing, and you?”
The second man says “I’ll have H2O aswell please.”
The bartender turns around and mutters to himself “Dammit, I’ll get him next time.”...
I once asked my grandfather how he'd lived so long.
He smiled and said; "I sprinkle a little gunpowder on my cereal every morning."
I always thought that was a little weird but he did live a long life and left a great legacy; a thriving career, loving wife, seven children, sixteen grandchildren, two great-grandchildren, and a massive hole in the crematorium wall....
A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy a half head of lettuce.
The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter.
Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager, "Some butt- hole wants to buy a half head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he ..........added, "And this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."
The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way. Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with...
Two guys are walking down the road with their dogs, one guy has a doberman and the other has a chihuahua, when they come across a restaurant
They want to go in but there's a sign on the door that says "no pets allowed - service dogs only". The guy with the doberman says, "don't worry I got this." He proceeds to put on a dark pair of sunglasses and walks inside.
The manager comes up to him and says, "sir, you can't have your dog in here." The man replies, you don't understand, this is my seeing guide dog." Skeptical, the manager asks, "your guide dog is a doberman?" The man replies, "you see, a doberman helps protect me against burglars." The manager lets him through.
The chihuahua...
A blind man enters a bar and asks the Barkeeper "Wanna hear a joke about blondes?"
Suddenly, the bar is as silent as a grave. A guy next to the blind man leans over and whispers
"Dude, be carefull. The barkeeper is blonde and an ex-soldier. The bouncer is also blonde and the reigning box champion of the city. And then there is Joe... he's just released from prison after he broke a dude's jaw and his two arms. He is blond too. Are you sure you wanna tell that blonde joke?"
The blind man takes a minute to think about that, turns on his barchair and says
"OK, FINE... I won't tell the joke... I don't have the time to explain that...
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